Which sentence should Gordon revise to make it more
precise, and why?
Read the paragraph from Gordon's personal narrative.
1 When I first entered the room, I was really struck by what I
saw. It was my first day of cooking lessons, and I was on
my way to fulfilling my dreams of one day becoming a chef
in my own world-renowned restaurant. I had spent
countless hours of my childhood watching my parents, both
professional chefs, prepare delicious meals. From them,
had already obtained a solid foundation of cooking basics,
However, it was in this room that I would build upon those
basics and begin my ascent as a chef in my own right.
Gordon should revise sentence 1 to provide specific
details about what "struck" him as he first entered the
room
Gordon should revise sentence 2 to describe his dreams
more clearly and explain what he hopes to accomplish
one day,
O Gordon should revise sentence 3 to replace vague words
like "countless" and "delicious" with more precise
adjectives
Gordon should revise sentence 4 to add detailed
examples about the many cooking basics he learned from
his parents,

Gordon gave a personal narrative essay on his dream of becoming a chef, the steps he took towards achieving that such as watching his parents cook while he was a kid and his next course of action to make his dream come through by attending cooking lessons.

While narrating his first day of his cooking lessons, he said he was really struck by what he saw when he first entered the room but provided no further explanation as to what struck him when he entered the room.

Hence Gordon needs to revise that to make it more precise.

OlanmaE OlanmaE · Answer 2 · 2022-01-13T12:31:27+01:00

The sentence that Gordon should revise to make it more precise is: Gordon should revise sentence 1 to provide specific details about what "struck" him as he first entered the room.

After Gordon expressed the fact that he was struck when he entered the room, he should have elaborated further on that so that the reader can understand what actually struck him about the room.

So, sentence 1 should be revised.

Learn more about revision here:

https://brainly.com/question/8823021