Edit for Word Choice
PRACTICE 5 Editing paragraphs for word choice
Find and edit six examples of vague or abstract language, slang, wordy
language, or clichés in the following paragraphs.
(1) Imagine spending almost two weeks living in the coolest home in the
world. (2) That is what scientist Lloyd Godson did when he lived at the bottom
of a lake in Australia for thirteen days. (3) Although there is no way on earth 1
would want to do that, it sure sounds fascinating.
(4) Godson's home was an 8-by-11-foot-long yellow steel box that he
dubbed the BIOSUB. (5) His air supply came from the algae plants growing
inside the BioSUB. (6) Divers brought him food, water, and other junk through
a manhole built in the bottom of his underwater home. (7) To keep busy, he
rade on an exercise bicycle, which created electricity for him to recharge his
laptop and run the lights for his plants. (8) He used his computer to talk to
students all over the world and to watch movies.
(9) Godson paid for this experiment with money he had won in the
"Live Your Dream" contest. (10) At this point in time, I have to say that for
most people, the BIOSUB home would be less appealing than a regular,
aboveground room, apartment, or house. (11) Indeed, by the time his two
weeks were over, Godson was ready to come up, feel the sunshine and wind
on his face again, and "smell the roses."